S M Ong: Going bananas over batty behaviour on baby dinosaur

Dear bat eating bananas,

Hey, save some for me. Or better yet, don't.

In fact, I may never eat a banana again.

What are you? A Minion?

Have you been tested for Covid-19? I wonder how they would insert a swab up your little nostril.

Why no mask? Want to get fined, is it? Where's a safe distancing ambassador when you need one?

Oh, I forgot. You don't have to wear a mask when you're eating.

It was an image that shook an entire nation.

And I'm not talking about Mark Lee in drag.

You're famous now.

But it's rather insensitive of you to re-enact the scene from the ending of the movie Contagion in the middle of a pandemic.

Too soon, man. It's still two weeks till Halloween.

Because of you, FairPrice posted on Facebook last Friday: "We are aware of a video circulating on social media of a bat eating a comb of bananas in the night at our 24-hour store located at 345 Jurong East Street 31. This incident occurred outside the store where the fruits were displayed.

"We have since moved all fruits inside the store to prevent future occurrences, and checks have also been made to ensure any fruits affected have been discarded.

"We are also in contact with the authorities to look into the cause for the presence of bats in the area.

"We apologise for any inconvenience caused."

Why should FairPrice apologise? You're the one who should apologise for making FairPrice move the fruits inside.

No inconvenience caused for the rest of us.

JURASSIC BEHAVIOUR

But you weren't the only one caught on camera where you shouldn't be last week.

You know the Jurassic Mile that opened recently near Changi Airport with the outdoor dinosaur exhibits?

There is a video going around of a woman sitting on a baby dinosaur display and rocking back and forth.

It's a display, not a ride.

Many were outraged by her inconsiderate behaviour. You kind of wish the baby dino would come to life and eat her. Jurassic World 3: Makan Time!

What if because of this and other instances of vandalism, Changi Airport might consider moving the exhibits indoors like what FairPrice did with the fruits because of you?

But you did what you did because, well, you're a bat. No offence.

The woman is no more civilised than a bat, except she apparently has TikTok.

And this is why we can't have nice things, like unfenced dino displays and bananas hanging outside the supermarket.

Compared with humans, maybe you're not so bat, I mean, bad after all. I swear I will never eat soup made of you, even if it's offered by SIA.

I'm looking forward to see how many people are going to dress up as a bat eating bananas this Halloween.

Say hi to Bruce Wayne for me.

Speaking of which, wear a mask, dammit.