Thanks, Mum, for fixing my loose screw
This story is part of a Mother's Day series by TNP
Just around Easter this year, I found a scrap paper that my mum gave me some 33 years ago after I asked her for a present.
The handwritten note, with a (real) screw taped on, read: "Maureen, to show you how much your mother loves you, here's a lovely Easter gift for you: – (insert screw). 1 beautiful screw to replace your lost screw in your head. I'm sure this screw will be very valuable to you and you will feel better in your head till next Easter. From your ever-loving mother for Easter."
This was especially poignant because just a few weeks before, I had told my daughter that her grandma had sadly lost her sense of humour. Slowly creeping-up dementia turned the witty, strong-willed Peranakan woman into someone who suddenly became bitter with life, and with her loved ones. Mum is no longer nice.
Before that, I had been fortunate. Friends who heard me speak to Mum or saw us together, were often surprised at how much like buddies we were.
In those years at school, I have had a good share of getting into trouble – with the teachers and principals. And oh yes, those crushes I had, the frustration at work sometimes, and even the occasional marriage spats – I had always been able to share with my mum. For this, I am grateful. Thanks, Mum.
That bond with my own mum helped to shape the unorthodox mother I am today.
One who gave her teen son on his birthday a condom sealed in a red packet, with the advice "Use this please if you are not married, I don't want to be an unexpected grandmother too soon". His friends (and mine) still think that was cool.
His younger sister was taught that "if someone hits you on one cheek, you hit the person back on both... and more" because no one should be allowed to bully you. Suffice to say, she has not been bullied even once.
My children know they can discuss any issue without fear of treading on sensitive ground. We may not always agree on some decisions but do not ever give me the chance to say, "I told you so."
As a mother, just like any other mother, I only want to watch my children grow into sensible, responsible and fun adults. To be upright, courageous and live a life that is filled with all things real.
So, perhaps... that screw from Mum worked its magic. Happy Mother's Day!
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